How Many Women Does It Take to Change a Redneck? from Thomas Nelson

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Here's a close-up look at the qualities that make the red-neck male special. The book covers all the essentials, including his fashion sense, personal hygiene, choice of automobiles, mating rituals, prowess at entertaining, conversation skills, preferred leisure time activities, eating and drinking habits, and child-rearing expertise.

How many women does it take to change a redneck?

• Only one, if her aim is good.
• Depends on how she looks, how much she weighs, and if her family has any property to hunt on.
• Four?one to hold his beer, two to undo his overalls, and one to pull on a clean pair of under-drawers.
• Twelve . . . in a jury box.
• Nobody knows?it's never been done.

Armed with this book, any redneck can learn to conduct himself so that no woman or her mother would ever consider asking him to change.